Friday, July 08, 2005

A Lot of Realizations

I’m having a lot of realizations this summer. I think the first has to do with a good friend who will, in August, be departing for the country of Iraq to serve his country. The mere fact that he’s going makes me want to put aside everything political and everything else and just think: He’s going. Not an especially wordy phrase but a powerful one. My friend, someone who I’ve gotten to know over there years, is going somewhere that’s very dangerous. There is no guarantee I will see him again; that enough should be enough for me to pick up a phone and call him, even at this ungodly hour.

Another realization I’m having this summer is that I’m not going back to high school, and that the set of friends I have now probably won’t be the same in a year. I’m not going back to De La Salle, and I think to a degree that it’s killing me. There won’t be any more fun times with school people, at least not at school. Many of the people I met at De La Salle I have no guarantee of seeing again. Even the people I’ve gotten to know at church for the last five or six or who knows how many years are people I’m going to be seeing much less of. I’m sure I’ll get to hang with them during summers and breaks, but it won’t be like youth group every week.

I do have some people who will be constants—four other De La Salle graduates are going to UP in the fall. But all of the change—some friendships will stay, some will be less, and some are probably going to sort of, well, fade away. And with a good friend going to Iraq during this time of transition, it’s all quite overwhelming. I suppose the best thing I can do, really, is spend the time I can with the people I know now, and stay in touch with them as best I can when I start going to UP full-time. Of course the one thing connected to this is that I’m going from high school to college, and that’s a major thing all it’s own. I’m going from home to living on-campus; I’m going to have to learn to be more responsible on my own.

All of these realizations, connected in various ways, keep popping into my head. You might think one moment of realization would be enough, but they just keep coming back. So the summer is, to use a popular term, bittersweet. I’m really going to miss a lot of my old friends, and all of the fun times and everything. I hope I get to hang with them again sometime, and I hope I can keep in touch. But as with many things in life this is uncertain. So rather I will do all I can, give the rest to God, and work hard at making the transition to college a positive and smooth one.

A sidenote: A happy birthday to the Dalai Lama. He is one year older and wiser, and perhaps one year more idealistic. (Perhaps, as I would favor, one year less idealistic.)

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

bittersweet indeed. you are a poet here.

k-po said...

danocrates - i have one friend whom i went from kindgergarten through high school - all 13 years. i just saw her yesterday. i have known her since i was 5 - 33 years! i don't remember many of the people i went to school with and most i don't care to. if you come away from dlsnc with one true friend it will have been a success. as for the dalai, smarts and all, he needs Christ.